DISCLAIMER: I like colorful language. You will probably see it below.
As you may have guessed from my previous article, certain trends of present-day Internet journalism make me want to throw a glass against a wall and watch it shatter into a million pieces. No, I don’t really want to do that; I just wanted to evoke some strong imagery in my opening sentence, and the thought of that glass representing these deplorable trends and that they could be as easily dismantled by throwing it against a wall is deeply satisfying.
Most of these articles appear to be written by my peers. As someone born in December 1988, you would think that Thought Catalog’s article “17 Things People Born in the Late 80s Are Currently Experiencing” would totally get me. Nope. It only solidifies the reality that I don’t understand my generation. So I’m taking it upon myself to become the counter-argument by co-opting these trends. I’m like ClickHole, but with more heart.
It’s not that I don’t doubt that mid-20 somethings are going through everything that author Christopher Hudspeth is talking about. I just think it reeks of “being an adult is just SO WEEEIIIRD”, “let’s commiserate over our debilitating first world problems”, and “I literally can't even”. I can’t honestly relate because the moment I start to experience any of these 17 things, I choose to respond to it differently. I don’t want to be pitied. I want to rise above. I want to be genuinely optimistic as my own personal “fuck you” to the nay-sayers.
As you may have guessed from my previous article, certain trends of present-day Internet journalism make me want to throw a glass against a wall and watch it shatter into a million pieces. No, I don’t really want to do that; I just wanted to evoke some strong imagery in my opening sentence, and the thought of that glass representing these deplorable trends and that they could be as easily dismantled by throwing it against a wall is deeply satisfying.
Most of these articles appear to be written by my peers. As someone born in December 1988, you would think that Thought Catalog’s article “17 Things People Born in the Late 80s Are Currently Experiencing” would totally get me. Nope. It only solidifies the reality that I don’t understand my generation. So I’m taking it upon myself to become the counter-argument by co-opting these trends. I’m like ClickHole, but with more heart.
It’s not that I don’t doubt that mid-20 somethings are going through everything that author Christopher Hudspeth is talking about. I just think it reeks of “being an adult is just SO WEEEIIIRD”, “let’s commiserate over our debilitating first world problems”, and “I literally can't even”. I can’t honestly relate because the moment I start to experience any of these 17 things, I choose to respond to it differently. I don’t want to be pitied. I want to rise above. I want to be genuinely optimistic as my own personal “fuck you” to the nay-sayers.
And Mr. Hudspeth, before I continue, you’re a solid writer, and probably a pretty cool dude. I have nothing against you. It’s just that I feel compelled to spend the remainder of this blog entry respectfully debunking everything you've so carefully written. We’re like Wesley and Inigo Montoya in a sword fight; we’d probably get along just fine but circumstances dictate that we must duel.
You can read good Christopher’s article here, but like last time, I’ve printed his “things” below with an effort not to distort the intention behind his words. I'll be covering the first nine today, and then tackle the rest in Part 2.
1) The troubling realization that you can in fact accomplish anything in life, if only you could figure out exactly what it is that you want to do.
I switched my major five times in college and you know what it taught me? I suck at accounting. My high school ambition of double-majoring in English and religious studies requires far more reading than I care to do. And in Stage Combat, I can get graded on how well I play with a sword. Maybe we can accomplish anything we set our minds to, but sometimes giving it a try makes you realize that it’s not what you want to set your mind to in the first place. Making a choice simultaneously closes doors and opens new ones you could have never dreamed of. Putting off a choice because you’re afraid to choose closes every door.
2) Your high school reunion isn’t far away and you’re not quite sure where those ten years went
I’ve been out of high school for almost eight years and I have a grand tale of how I got from Point A to Point B. It’s just longer than most people care to hear and I will go on a billion tangents in the process, but damn, it is entertaining! I will know exactly where those ten years went.
3) This is a complex stretch of life because when it comes to screw-ups, you aren’t young enough for youth to be an acceptable excuse but you also don’t necessarily feel like a fully-fledged, sufficiently equipped, capable adult.
Bro, I can’t even begin to tell you how much is wrong with this one. I’m going to challenge you to write down all of your “major screw-ups” as you go through your 20s, then read them back to yourself when you’re 35. I bet you’ll find them all laughable. Furthermore, youth should never be an excuse. I used to use it for not knowing as much as I’d like and then as a reason to soak everything up like a sponge, but the reality is you’re never too old or too young learn as much as you can. There will always be something you screw up. Mistakes are not reserved for the young.
And the idea of a fully-fledged, sufficiently equipped, capable adult is a complete and utter myth. You’ll realize this when you’re 35 too.
4) You’re losing friends and it isn’t because of immature drama or a falling out. It’s because people are finding boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, careers in other cities, children- numerous life changing things, and free time is a hot commodity. Friendships aren’t dissolving because of anger, they’re dissolving because of life.
How dare you compare people moving forward in their lives to immature drama! Yes, what you describe does in fact happen, priorities shift and free time is precious. Most of mine is spent in a van traveling all over the country. Yay for touring theatre.
Because I have spent most of my adult life in theatre, whether professionally or academically, I have an abundance of experiences growing close to groups of people I would call my dearest friends. I spend months growing close to these people only to realize a year later that I haven’t talked to or seen them in a while. A LONG while. I would never call this a lost friendship because I’m certain if I saw these individuals again, we would have just as good of a time together, if not better. Yes--life gets busy and more and more people enter our lives, making it more difficult to keep track of all the different relationships we have. Yes--people do change, but being able to appreciate those changes is one of the most awesome things about growing up. I am willing to bet if you ran into your supposed "lost friends" at a gathering of some kind, you would change your mind about them.
All relationships change. It's inevitable. But don’t delete your friends off Facebook just ‘cause it’s been a few years since you spoke.
5) Sometimes you’re just faking it and casually mimicking others, not because you’re a follower, but you want to blend in while you figure this thing out for yourself.
The biggest disservice we all continually do to ourselves is trying to blend in. I did it before and I thought I’d take cues from the people who claimed to have it figured out, but in doing so, I was depriving the world of the unique perspective I had to offer. Standing out may be scary, but it’s amazing how much courage I had to follow my own heart and be myself when I admitted my own flaws. Besides, no one has this shit figured out.
When in Rome, appreciate what the Romans do, but always do what you do. Like what you wrote for the second half of this number: “Don’t fret, y’all – 60% of the time I’m basically a kid sitting on another kid’s shoulders, wearing an oversized coat and pretending to know the drill. You get it, Chris, and you can come up with far better imagery to describe it than I.
6) Understanding that if you’re not careful, “a little time off” from something can easily turn into a couple of years. Skipping a semester or a leave of absence from your job (if you have that luxury) can be risky decisions that tend to play out extra painfully because there are no refunds on time.
This is the epitome of #1stworldproblems.
Let me tell you a story about a man who decided to fall in line with what could have been described as the family business: practicing law. He had been working a good gig in a photo lab and was able to provide for his family, but he didn’t get to be with his kids as much as he liked. So he apprenticed in his father’s law office for three years, making far less money than he was before, studying for the Bar exam as he worked. After three years had passed, he decided he did not want to take the Bar, and returned to the photo lab where he worked before but in a different capacity that he enjoyed more.
During that time, this man was my favorite youth soccer coach and Scout Leader. He’s also my dad, and my grandfather’s law office was on the floor below our apartment. During that time, the new episodes of Power Rangers that I desperately wanted to see somehow never forgot to be taped…
You’re never taking time off. There’s a reason why your “break” is taking as long as it is.
7) The things you loved as a kid are constantly at risk of being remade/ruined.
Speaking of my dad, his generation has us all beat on this one. Don’t believe me? Two words then: Star Wars.
Imagine growing up with that original trilogy and being told that in an era of better special effects, they were making a prequel trilogy where we would learn how Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader. Then, imagine seeing The Phantom Menace, not as a pre-pubescent child, but as a grown-up man who’s been awaiting for the cinematic awesomeness to return.
Now imagine repeating this entire process with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Crystal Skulls. At least now we have enough forewarning to expect the worst. I will probably go see Star Wars Episode 7 in theaters, but I’m not setting my expectations too high.
And to respond to the second half of your entry, Recently there were rumors of a Space Jam sequel and I was in the fetal position rocking back and forth singing “Everybody get up, it’s time to slam now…” for 45 minutes. Luckily it proved to be nothing more than Internet lies and I made a hasty recovery.
Once again, I love the imagery, Chris, but when was the last time you saw Space Jam? Seeing it as an adult may ruin your childhood memories of it more than a remake.
8) Slight frustration with your parents for not making you learn how to play instruments or try really hard at sports or something you could have turned into a lucrative career.
Have you ever met anyone who had their parents actually do that? They’re not always happy about it. And odds are about fifty-fifty that if your parents ever made you learn one of these skills and pushed you too hard in it, you would probably lose interest. Reverse psychology is a bitch.
Also, let me get on my soapbox about arts and athletics for a moment: their primary functions for children and teens should be to help develop important life skills, self-expression, discipline, teamwork, and other awesome qualities. The last thing they should be concerned with is producing the next Broadway star or Hesiman winner. It’s great when these things happen, but what makes arts and athletics so worthwhile isn’t about a lucrative career.
Stepping off the box now…
9) Birthdays are no longer enjoyable because they’re all just another year in the books after 21.
No wait, getting back on!
I’m gonna turn to my good friend Tony Horton for this one. No, I don’t actually know him; I’ve just heard all of his maxims from repeatedly doing workouts in the P90X family (3 is epic by the way). My favorite is “Aging is for people who do not know better.”
Birthdays are your own personal bragging right to show off that you’re one year better. And my 21st intersected with my Voice for Theatre exam, so it doesn’t take the cake for being exceptionally enjoyable. It was nice though.
So I still have 8 more things to debunk, but this feels like a good stopping point. Being a counter voice is a lengthy endeavor.
But before I go, let me share a proverb with you: “Those who say it can’t be done, should not interrupt the people doing it.”
This anonymous Chinese proverb was plastered to the wall every time I set foot into my mom’s office at school. She was an assistant principal for ten years and she had a knack for investing in the kids others would give up on. She’s a tiny woman who could make 6-foot, 200-pound football players with aggression issues stop fighting just by calling their names to let them know she was near. If she had a dollar for every time she heard, “Oh, sorry Mrs. Puryear!”, she could probably retire early.
Most of these kids she took under her wing turned out better because instead of listening to the stereotypes and the negative self-talk that permeated the halls, they listened to her instead. That doesn’t happen when you take things at face value.
Don’t blend in. Change the response. Rise above the norm and the expected.
Part 2 coming soon :)
You can read good Christopher’s article here, but like last time, I’ve printed his “things” below with an effort not to distort the intention behind his words. I'll be covering the first nine today, and then tackle the rest in Part 2.
1) The troubling realization that you can in fact accomplish anything in life, if only you could figure out exactly what it is that you want to do.
I switched my major five times in college and you know what it taught me? I suck at accounting. My high school ambition of double-majoring in English and religious studies requires far more reading than I care to do. And in Stage Combat, I can get graded on how well I play with a sword. Maybe we can accomplish anything we set our minds to, but sometimes giving it a try makes you realize that it’s not what you want to set your mind to in the first place. Making a choice simultaneously closes doors and opens new ones you could have never dreamed of. Putting off a choice because you’re afraid to choose closes every door.
2) Your high school reunion isn’t far away and you’re not quite sure where those ten years went
I’ve been out of high school for almost eight years and I have a grand tale of how I got from Point A to Point B. It’s just longer than most people care to hear and I will go on a billion tangents in the process, but damn, it is entertaining! I will know exactly where those ten years went.
3) This is a complex stretch of life because when it comes to screw-ups, you aren’t young enough for youth to be an acceptable excuse but you also don’t necessarily feel like a fully-fledged, sufficiently equipped, capable adult.
Bro, I can’t even begin to tell you how much is wrong with this one. I’m going to challenge you to write down all of your “major screw-ups” as you go through your 20s, then read them back to yourself when you’re 35. I bet you’ll find them all laughable. Furthermore, youth should never be an excuse. I used to use it for not knowing as much as I’d like and then as a reason to soak everything up like a sponge, but the reality is you’re never too old or too young learn as much as you can. There will always be something you screw up. Mistakes are not reserved for the young.
And the idea of a fully-fledged, sufficiently equipped, capable adult is a complete and utter myth. You’ll realize this when you’re 35 too.
4) You’re losing friends and it isn’t because of immature drama or a falling out. It’s because people are finding boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, careers in other cities, children- numerous life changing things, and free time is a hot commodity. Friendships aren’t dissolving because of anger, they’re dissolving because of life.
How dare you compare people moving forward in their lives to immature drama! Yes, what you describe does in fact happen, priorities shift and free time is precious. Most of mine is spent in a van traveling all over the country. Yay for touring theatre.
Because I have spent most of my adult life in theatre, whether professionally or academically, I have an abundance of experiences growing close to groups of people I would call my dearest friends. I spend months growing close to these people only to realize a year later that I haven’t talked to or seen them in a while. A LONG while. I would never call this a lost friendship because I’m certain if I saw these individuals again, we would have just as good of a time together, if not better. Yes--life gets busy and more and more people enter our lives, making it more difficult to keep track of all the different relationships we have. Yes--people do change, but being able to appreciate those changes is one of the most awesome things about growing up. I am willing to bet if you ran into your supposed "lost friends" at a gathering of some kind, you would change your mind about them.
All relationships change. It's inevitable. But don’t delete your friends off Facebook just ‘cause it’s been a few years since you spoke.
5) Sometimes you’re just faking it and casually mimicking others, not because you’re a follower, but you want to blend in while you figure this thing out for yourself.
The biggest disservice we all continually do to ourselves is trying to blend in. I did it before and I thought I’d take cues from the people who claimed to have it figured out, but in doing so, I was depriving the world of the unique perspective I had to offer. Standing out may be scary, but it’s amazing how much courage I had to follow my own heart and be myself when I admitted my own flaws. Besides, no one has this shit figured out.
When in Rome, appreciate what the Romans do, but always do what you do. Like what you wrote for the second half of this number: “Don’t fret, y’all – 60% of the time I’m basically a kid sitting on another kid’s shoulders, wearing an oversized coat and pretending to know the drill. You get it, Chris, and you can come up with far better imagery to describe it than I.
6) Understanding that if you’re not careful, “a little time off” from something can easily turn into a couple of years. Skipping a semester or a leave of absence from your job (if you have that luxury) can be risky decisions that tend to play out extra painfully because there are no refunds on time.
This is the epitome of #1stworldproblems.
Let me tell you a story about a man who decided to fall in line with what could have been described as the family business: practicing law. He had been working a good gig in a photo lab and was able to provide for his family, but he didn’t get to be with his kids as much as he liked. So he apprenticed in his father’s law office for three years, making far less money than he was before, studying for the Bar exam as he worked. After three years had passed, he decided he did not want to take the Bar, and returned to the photo lab where he worked before but in a different capacity that he enjoyed more.
During that time, this man was my favorite youth soccer coach and Scout Leader. He’s also my dad, and my grandfather’s law office was on the floor below our apartment. During that time, the new episodes of Power Rangers that I desperately wanted to see somehow never forgot to be taped…
You’re never taking time off. There’s a reason why your “break” is taking as long as it is.
7) The things you loved as a kid are constantly at risk of being remade/ruined.
Speaking of my dad, his generation has us all beat on this one. Don’t believe me? Two words then: Star Wars.
Imagine growing up with that original trilogy and being told that in an era of better special effects, they were making a prequel trilogy where we would learn how Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader. Then, imagine seeing The Phantom Menace, not as a pre-pubescent child, but as a grown-up man who’s been awaiting for the cinematic awesomeness to return.
Now imagine repeating this entire process with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Crystal Skulls. At least now we have enough forewarning to expect the worst. I will probably go see Star Wars Episode 7 in theaters, but I’m not setting my expectations too high.
And to respond to the second half of your entry, Recently there were rumors of a Space Jam sequel and I was in the fetal position rocking back and forth singing “Everybody get up, it’s time to slam now…” for 45 minutes. Luckily it proved to be nothing more than Internet lies and I made a hasty recovery.
Once again, I love the imagery, Chris, but when was the last time you saw Space Jam? Seeing it as an adult may ruin your childhood memories of it more than a remake.
8) Slight frustration with your parents for not making you learn how to play instruments or try really hard at sports or something you could have turned into a lucrative career.
Have you ever met anyone who had their parents actually do that? They’re not always happy about it. And odds are about fifty-fifty that if your parents ever made you learn one of these skills and pushed you too hard in it, you would probably lose interest. Reverse psychology is a bitch.
Also, let me get on my soapbox about arts and athletics for a moment: their primary functions for children and teens should be to help develop important life skills, self-expression, discipline, teamwork, and other awesome qualities. The last thing they should be concerned with is producing the next Broadway star or Hesiman winner. It’s great when these things happen, but what makes arts and athletics so worthwhile isn’t about a lucrative career.
Stepping off the box now…
9) Birthdays are no longer enjoyable because they’re all just another year in the books after 21.
No wait, getting back on!
I’m gonna turn to my good friend Tony Horton for this one. No, I don’t actually know him; I’ve just heard all of his maxims from repeatedly doing workouts in the P90X family (3 is epic by the way). My favorite is “Aging is for people who do not know better.”
Birthdays are your own personal bragging right to show off that you’re one year better. And my 21st intersected with my Voice for Theatre exam, so it doesn’t take the cake for being exceptionally enjoyable. It was nice though.
So I still have 8 more things to debunk, but this feels like a good stopping point. Being a counter voice is a lengthy endeavor.
But before I go, let me share a proverb with you: “Those who say it can’t be done, should not interrupt the people doing it.”
This anonymous Chinese proverb was plastered to the wall every time I set foot into my mom’s office at school. She was an assistant principal for ten years and she had a knack for investing in the kids others would give up on. She’s a tiny woman who could make 6-foot, 200-pound football players with aggression issues stop fighting just by calling their names to let them know she was near. If she had a dollar for every time she heard, “Oh, sorry Mrs. Puryear!”, she could probably retire early.
Most of these kids she took under her wing turned out better because instead of listening to the stereotypes and the negative self-talk that permeated the halls, they listened to her instead. That doesn’t happen when you take things at face value.
Don’t blend in. Change the response. Rise above the norm and the expected.
Part 2 coming soon :)
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